doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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