quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
