it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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