My friends, they love my intelligence
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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