I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i just had sex bonerless
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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