no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
