im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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