The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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