For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
