Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize