"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
