New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
