he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
