I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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