ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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