The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I need to align my fucking chakras
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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