I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
