Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
