Even water is tasting like jack daniels
is wine microwaveable?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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