I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
