may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
