The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
