I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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