In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
