That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
