he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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