Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Randomize
