Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
