I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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