Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
