I bet he comes in French.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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