i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
