I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
