Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
