you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
