im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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