She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
