Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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