God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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