Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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