totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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