dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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