Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
