he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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