problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize