Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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