I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
