Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
