I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
zippers are such a cool invention
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize