Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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