On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
