What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
