Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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