am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
