Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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