I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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