Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
