have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
