Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your penis caused this!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
