why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
