how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
