i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
