I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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