Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
