they need to just BURY HIM!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
