i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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